Just one of those days.
Now Playing: Atmosphere - Onemosphere
So uh…well I don’t know exactly how to start this. I guess this post is going to be broken up to like, 3 parts, since I’ve been thinking about what I’ve been wanting to write for quite a bit today. But I doubt they’re going to be as long as I initially planned for them to be. So we’ll see, I guess.
I’m getting that really depressing feel again today. I guess it’s sort of different and I feel that I should write about it, since I really can’t even attribute this to anything for sure. For some reason, I just feel really stressed and worried and agitated. I don’t know what set this one. Maybe it’s from last night, but I didn’t really think about that incident yesterday. It’s sort of lingering in my mind, but I don’t know if it’s really bothering me, unless I’m lying to myself. I’m starting to hope that it’s some sort of medical condition, so then I could at least not worry as much about it.
In the same vein of thought, I kind of feel like Holden Caufield, much like Leo said (Sorry for stealing your thunder, Wilson). Not that I think everyone’s a phony, though I think a lot of people certainly are. I don’t think it’s the stream-of-consciousness thing either, since I just assume that everyone writes like this. I think it’s because I don’t really know what I want. I don’t want to seem like some bleeding-heart loser, but I guess I can’t really help it. I think it lends itself to a lot of frustration on my part. Like today, I really, REALLY had an urge to grab a baseball bat and smash a car. Not enough to actually go do it, but I guess I need a way to vent all my TEEN ANGST. So yeah, there you go. A little more insight on me I guess. I hate drawing this parallel to Catcher in the Rye, because that angst-ridden sort of attitude is something that I really don’t want. It’s all a part of growing up, I suppose.
Also, it seems that my mom’s taken my general policy of not-really-speaking-with-people kind of personally. I feel like a jackass, but what am I supposed to talk about? If I think about it, I don’t even talk that much during school. I mean, I talk more than usual, sure, but for the most part I still think I just sort of sit there. It’s kind of sad to think. I don’t know what to do here.
And one last post relating to angst. I’m really, REALLY loving Pinkerton. I mean, I know I said I liked it since there was that really obvious parallel to Madama Butterfly and the songs were pop-goodness that Weezer is known for. But I guess in my depressing state today, listening to it again, I get why it’s so highly acclaimed and what people mean when they say it’s super sincere. Well, that’s what it is, super sincere. You could really tell in how he sings the songs, his voice just sounds so painful and agonizing. It doesn’t really show in his regular singing, but in the climaxes of the songs when he does his scream-y things, there’s just a certain tone to it. It sounds like a kind of fun pop album at first, but those little nuances that you don’t really find in Blue or Green or Make Believe or whatever is what really makes it. For example, if you listen to Falling For You, there’s a part where he sings:
Oh sweet God damn
You left your
Cello in the basement
You can’t see it in the text, but the way he says the first line just chills me. Anyway, loving Pinkerton, loving Weezer. Fuck tha haterz, Rivers Cuomo is boss.
Now Playing: Atmosphere - Godlovesugly (Reprise)
LOL. Wow Clayton. That is some serious… blogging. I still think I beat you in blogging though (: Yes, I’ll continue the autobiography :D
reblogged from borisukawaii
